I had a great weekend. But before I tell you about that, which I will, and it is worth the wait, I want to tell you about a blog I found that is INCREDIBLE. Joe Pixel This is perhaps the most complete blog I've ever found. First, it is completely his own Content Management System. Second, it is REALLY funny. Third, at the same time that it is funny, it is insightful. Fourth, the design is incredible. Fifth, well...that is plenty. So everyone should check that out. Getting back into Blogland, I've had a few posts in a row about other blogs, or blogging, has really made me want to revamp my blog a bit. Finish some coding, add some features, and update ancient content. And once my computer is 100% finished, which should occur by Wednesday as I receive my other dimm of ram on Tuesday and have an entire manual I wrote in order to make sure everything goes smoothly, I am going to start programming again. Some new features I am thinking of are The Ad Rotation system that I planned for registered readers. The "Ask Avi" feature will replace Sweeter than the Rest. And that is just about it. Then I will ad the rest of my missing content. And then I will ad some stories I finished recently. So you should be very excited. I am very excited.

Now the weekend. In a Seinfeld episode, so everyone knows I did not come up with this brilliant pickup line, Jerry tells a woman at a party, "You wouldn't know it from looking at me, but I can run really fast." My friends and I have thought this to be the best pickup line since "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" Attempting it on Friday night at a house party proved fruitless; most of the time after saying the line they would seem confused, which scared me into turning around and seeking comfort in the "You the man," cheers I'd receive from my faithful friends for my attempts at ehm, getting laid using Jerry's line. Sometime Saturday afternoon I discovered the reason the line wasn't working was because I was not following it up with anything. I'd just turn around! What was I expecting, me to administer the line like some sort of sex making drug? No, no man, you have to keep on talking. They don't just roll over on their backs, knees up and all after that, you need to say something.

Refueled by this revelation, Saturday night I was at a party. I walked in and some girl offered me a cup for five dollars. After presenting my valid proof of age and paying ten dollars, I requested change. Her friend stood by and said, cutely, "This guy is trying to scam us." I innocently respond, "No, it is just that I, umm need change." She gave me my change and offered a free shot for putting up with her. Every time I saw that girl at the party, I would ask for my change again and she'd give me a free shot. We bantered a few times. In the hallway, I saw a girl (different), and more importantly, saw my opportunity to test the line. Boldly I approached, "You know, you wouldn't figure but I can run really fast." No response, so I continued, "Seriously, like superman fast." Finally, she smiled and said, "That is a horrible line."

Now the great thing about this line is that its efforts are two fold. First, you get to start conversation in an implicative manner that is offbeat and witty, obviously implying that you are offbeat and witty. Second, from their response to your incredibly brilliant attempt at sex via humor, you can tell if the girl is even worth the trouble. Anyone not ready to laugh at that line isn’t worth sleeping with, but I digress, to go on.

I was shocked and appalled by her response and made attempts at explaining to her the genius behind the approach. She was resilient. At that time, the cute girl from before walked by and said hello to us; clearly, she was friendly with this girl. Quickly, she interrupted, “How do you know him [me] and where is your boyfriend Chris?” The stupid one responded, “Well this kid just gave me the worst line ever!” The cute one asked, “What was it?” I turned around and smiled, “You wouldn’t know it from looking at me, but I can run really fast.” She loved it. And we talked for a bit and then she said that it was her party and that her name is Kate. I said, “Well, okay Kate, I will see you around hopefully.” She told me to write my name and number on this sign that said, “One dollar shots.” I did. Later on that night, I saw her in the smoking lounge and went in and said hello. She remembered me and we talked for like twenty minutes. My friends were ready to leave, and I informed her that regrettably I would leave. I reminded her of the location of my phone number and encouraged her to call me. She asked me if I had a cell phone, I responded yes, and she offered me her number. Kate. I figure I will call her tomorrow and try to get together with her as soon as possible.

Thank you Jerry Seinfeld.