I got a bunch of annoying things off my back today. First, I handed in this essay - it was shit. Second, I studied for my german test. Third, I, well, that's all I did, but it felt really productive. Oh I met with my advisor too. Then I dicked over a friend, I said I'd call back in an hour, but forgot. I was really satisfied with the day as a hole.

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I've been nostalgic. Maybe that isn't the word. I have been setting time to myself to remember things from New York. I listen to songs that remind me of times and just let my mind flow from scene to scene. I really love doing that.

Umm, what else...let me write something funny, I haven't posted anything that funny for awhile, so here comes a story.

Around the time of the MTV Video Awards (the VMAs), I decided that I could potentially be the greatest VMA host ever. At a party, I introduced myself as next year's host to a bunch of girls and they dug it, so I figured it must be a good idea. I drafted the following letter to the MTV executives.

To Whom It May Concern:

Brilliant ideas come and go, but brilliant people - they must be exploited. I am a brilliant person and would like MTV to exploit me next year as the VMA host. Now, I know that you are thinking "What the fuck is this kid talking about? He wants to host the VMAs?" And the answer is yes. But why I want to host the VMAs, that does not really concern you. What concerns you are the reasons why I would make the greatest VMA host ever - not just on an entertainment level, but on a economic and philosophical lever too.

Before I begin with why I, as in what about Avi Flombaum, would make a good host, let me explain the economic foundations to this theory. The best reason is I work for free. So pretty much you get an 100% return on me seeing as you paid me nothing. And yes, those MIT prepubescent math junkies will probably shout "an 100% return on nothing is still nothing!" but don't listen to them; they were doing math when guys like us were fucking the prom queen. You don't have to pay me, it's a good thing, trust me. ANd then philosophically, the concept of a regular guy hosting the VMAs is a gold mine in this time period. I know I don't have to explain to the pioneers of Reality TV the current demand for a new level of Reality TV, but just in case you miss it, I will. Everyone has copied the Real World and Road Rules. Everyone is making a Tom Green and a Jackass. You can see people eating their own poop on 100s of channels nowadays. Gameshows are all derivative and nothing seems real anymore. MTV, I implore you, take reality tv, your baby, to a new level. Create a celebrity for no reason with a reality tv award ceromony. Get what I'm saying? You would have a "real" person hosting a "real" award ceromony! No one has done that. Yes, you've been letting Joe Shmo on the air for 11 years now with Real World, but you haven't let Joe Shmo host a VMA. No one has let Joe Shmo do anything but answer questions, eat some wierd shit, or worse of all, just be Joe Shmoe. But you guys would be letting Joe Shmoe host a VMA. That's gonna sell like Hotcacks.

Another "fad" you guys would be capatalizing on is Blogs. Blogs are getting a lot of press coverage yet no one has been able to profit from them. I have a blog. I have a blog and I am hosting the VMAs. I bet you guys could find away to profit off that, especially considering it cost you nothing.

Now what about me, that is Avi Flombaum, would make a great VMA? I will tell you. Nothing. And it doesn't matter, because what about Christina Augilera makes her great? Nothing besides that fact that she is on MTV. Just put me on MTV. People won't know what hit them. "Who is this Avi Flombaum?" "Why is he hosting the VMAs?" "He must be cool if he is hosting the VMAs, Why then, do I not know about him?" You will grab everyone's attention with this. To keep this interest in me, make the commercials for the VMAs really obscure. Just me in a coffee shop with www.flombaum.com written on the bottom of the screen. And as the date gets closer, even more esoteric, perhaps just a blue screen set to some Pavement music with the VMAs date, and www.flombaum.com. Once people get curious enough, they will go to flombaum.com and there you have another gold mine. See what I'm saying?

Well I believe I have written enough about this brilliant idea and I hope that you people are intelligent enough to grasp the beauty of this concept. Hopefully I will be hearing from you soon.

Avi Flombaum
Boy Genius, Lover Extraordinaire.
www.flombaum.com

Goodnight everyone.