I once heard these two jokes. A man finds a magical lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says to the man, I will grant you one wish. The man responds, "I want my dick to touch the floor." The genie does his magical genie thing and a big cloud of air covers the man. The dust clears and the man's legs are gone.

A man is in therapy complaining about his brother. "My brohter, he thinks he is a chicken." "Well that is very serious, why don't you have him committed?" The therapist responds. "I can't," says the man. "Well why not?" "We need the eggs" says the man.

What's the point of these two jokes? The morals, the grand lesson I am trying to illustrate. You have to be specific about the things you want and be willing to risk a loss. And it sucks, but the things we get in return keep us coming back.

I wonder if it is best to let people know exactly how you feel. I mean I want, I wish I could just say what I am thinking without feeling so scared or guilty? Why do I feel guilty about telling people how I feel? I hope I just haven't fucked things up.