Quick Outline of Today's Daily Dose:

1. Rehash on the crush theme, I forgot someone
2. The sky question from yesterday.
3. Goals and Happiness

Kodo the Mighy Raptor. I had a HUGE obsession - I can't even call it just a crush without laughing at myself - on Dahlia. From first to fourth grade, Dahlia was my life. But alas, she was playing hard to get. Yes, hard to get for four years straight. I'm sure that I bothered her seeing as I was always trying to get her to go out with me, or buying her stuff, or trying to impress her. Well it turns out she just wanted to be friends. So friends we became and although there was an occasional year rift in our friendship, we are still friends. Dahlia is awsome. Wit served fresh daily. And if I ever need someone to tell me I'm not an asshole, I go to her. Oh and on a side note, four years after I decided to stop obsessing over her dirty blone hair and oceanlike blue eyes (sigh), one faithfull night in Eight grade, Dahlia, despite what she'd have you believe, wanted to hook up with me. I always get my girl. Hehe.

THe sky is lower here. In New York, you can look up a building and loose site of it, hence you can't really define a sky. You see the city, these huge buildings and it just seems like there is a pocket of air in a balloon shape above the islan that gets stretched by the skyscrappers. Its a much taller sky. But here, in Madison, it's flat. And the sky seems so much lower. I'm not clostraphobic, but when you stand on top of a hill and realize you are the tallest thing in madison, that you are above all roofs, you can't help but wonder, well I am in the sky? It just makes everything seem tighter. That's one of the biggest differences between New York and Madison. New York, things seem unrelated. Here, everything is related. Lower Sky.

I've been thinking today about what will make me happier. I've reached a point of contentment but I want to be happy. I know that there are things upsetting me but these are huge issues I have with myself and I can't exactly deal with them. I have to take advantage of my time in college. And for some reason I feel like I am just passing my time here. Like the next four years of my life are excusable, a time period with no responsibility. It isn't a good feeling and I want it to go away. I want to feel like I am doing something here of substance. The funny thing is that I am doing things - the Badger Herald - but that doesn't exactly feel my time. No more dillydaddiling abotut it, I want substance from my life, from every aspect. So I am going to start setting myself goals. Really small simple ones that I MUST keep. If I don't keep them I need some way to punish myself. For instance, on the to do list is this story I started in the beggining of the year I need to finihs. THis website I should've finished months ago. This site. I have to go back to the productive avi ways. My german homework. These things must get done on a more timely basis. So I want to set myself goals that when I complete, I can feel some sort of accomplishment. Tonight's goal is study for an hour German. That's it.