Well actually, I don't actually recall any other girls I had huge crushes on. I suppose some of my friends would argue toward rena but at at 1:30am I can't write about everything I would need to write to explain her me and her. So what do I have to write about you ask? It's a good question and perhaps I've projected my own question onto my readers, as I am currently thinking "Avi, what are you going to write about?" The truth: I do not know. I can talk about movies, life, girls, sex, smoking, movies, music...but to choose one would be unfair. Give me a minute to think. Okay I got it, there is a girl I can write about.

So the problem with this is that the girl - as this is a pretty current situation - may actually end up reading this and know exactly what I'm thinking. So no names and well, hopefully she will never see this. On SOAR - which is a fancy thing for Orientation - I met this girl, lets call her Fritz. Fritz is very good looking. Cut to my second Badger game when Fritz spots me in the crowd and we casually exchange cell phone numbers. After a few get togethers which never got togehter we finally got together one saturday night. The plan was for her to come to my room, us to smoke, and then watch a movie. I hoped she wanted to hook up but after smoking, talking for a long time - like 3 hours - and watching Taxi Driver, I was totally intidmidated. I mean here you have this small town chick who could tell as intersting stories as I, talk about herself, and be as cool as me. It was wierd and I had no angle to work. So Fritz and I never hooked up that saturday night, but I was totaly interested in her. After a few days I called her about studying for our Zoology 101 exam. Figuring that this time, it would be very clear that I wanted to hook up with her, assuming that her acceptence was a reciprocation to my feelings. We got together to study, which lasted less than an hour. That was 10. At 2am I left. What did we do for those 6 hrs in between? We fucked like stoned bunny rabbits. But really, we just chilled and talked. And I still couldn't make any sort of move seeing as I was intimidated by her. I love this song (the new Eminem Single - Loose Yourself. Anyway, so I get back to my dorm and I present myself with the following questions. Here is a girl who I am attracted to and intersted by. I could see myself spending a lot of time with her and having a good time with her. But which do I want, the fling, or the relationship. I'm not the guy who thinks in terms of relationships so it's a very difficult question. If I just come onto her, I may loose the friendship or the relationship. If I seek the relationship I may loose the friendship or the fling. So what do I do? Comment. I like her. She hasn't given me any singlals. She has spent a lot of time with me but thats it. How do I keep the fling and the relationship possibilities open at the same time? How do I make a move on somebody I'm intimidated by?