Aren't you readers in luck, this should be a good long daily dose. So good is this daily dose, that it requires a brief outlines:

I - Introduction
II - Description of Concert and Article Idea
III - Movie Idea
IV - A comment about friendship
V - Personal friendship story "The Better Man"

So let's begin.

I went to see "The PineBenders," "The Good Life," and "Denali." The concert was at Luther's Blues - my first Madison venue. I went with my friend vivienne from DC - she is made fly cool. The Pinebenders are this really stadnard Emo band that sounded pretty good. Some guy in the audience said they were the quintisential Indie band, but I don't know if he knew what he was talking about seeing as they aren't indie at all - very emo. The Good Life was really good. So good that I am going to download some of their songs. They had a really nice stage presence and I like it when bands switch up positions. So they were good and I was rocking out. Denali wasn't that good. They are very portishead but aren't as good. And then this guy pushes me as I tell Viv that I would never be in a band with a female head singer because I'd feel like I was being dragged along into this moppy songs about breakups and such. So this guy interrupts and goes well maybe that's cause you rudely interrupted me and then blew smoke into the headsinger's face. Now lets examine this. I was like 5 feet away from the head singer, I did not blow smoke into her face - not possible. I didnt cut in front of him, the place was full but there was plenty of room in front of me and behind me for him to get back ahead of me, if I did even cut him. Furtheremore, we all realize that his reasons have nothing to do with being in a band with a female head singer. That was the concert. It was fun. THe article Idea is a guide to rocking out. I am going to write it in the Badger Herald. It is going to be cool.

So this movie idea. Pretty much it works on this concept. At any point in time while stoned, if you close your eyes, you can awake at another moment in life where you were smoking up in a similar situation. As in, if you like smoking outside and being undertrees and looking up at the sky, imagine that if you closed your eyes while being on the Mall in DC - smoking - you awoke in Central Park smoking. And obviously, everything that occured in DC was just an elaborate day dream you had while in Central park...So the movie would open with someone smoking, he closes his eyes and ends up somewhere else in his life, and the entire movie a central story is developing - non linearly of course - and the viewer is being exposed to parts of the story that they just can't be sure are real because this could be a day dream, get it? It is a cool idea and while I can't explain it very well would work really well cinematographly. (is that a word?)

Friendships are fucked up. Just fucked up. I have no idea what they are and how to deal with them. You get into this repetitive fights over and over again yet the entire time I know in the back of my head, ye we will be friends again. Do you guys feel that way when you are getting into a fight with a close friend - like you know it is futile to fight cause you guys just can't live without eachother? If you know that eventually you are going to be friends again why do we put ourselves threw these petty fucking fights?

I got into a big fight with Erika last night. She is suppose to come to Madison on the 18th and now I don't know if she is going to come. I was talking on the phone with her and she wouldn't tell me something. My bestist best friend wouldn't answer a yes or no question. Kids in Madison that I've just met have answered the same Yes or No question with ease and she says she doesn't talk about these things with me. So she tells me that we aren't that kind of friends. Now I am not sure what she meant by that, I know we have a different relationship, but what I interpretted it as was that we are two different kind of friends to eachother. Let me explain - Harry and I are the same kind of friend to eachother. We are both Johnny on the Spot hang out buddies. And that is great. But me and Erika are different. To me, she is motivation and a voice of reason. I tell Erika problems and situations and she encourages me to do the right thing, she listens and giggles and helps me do the right thing. To Erika, I am not that. She doesn't directly ask for advice, or need to vent, or want to talk about important philosophical decisions, she wants to tell me about the Rolling Stones, her friends, and such - things I know are important to her, but are somewhat trivial to me. I love talking to her about how she feels about her family and important things - philosophical things. But getting her to talk like that with me is near impossible. Now I know all this, I know we are two different kind of friends, but I still love her and she still loves me. So I tried illustrating this difference last night on the phone and Erika took that to mean that she doesn't care about me, that she doesn't miss me, that I am replacable and such...She thought I was critisizing her by saying that she isn't a good friend to me because she doesn't tell me certain things. Of course I was not saying that, I was just pointing out a difference. So she gets really mad and then I get really mad and now we arent talking. I sent her an email saying i refuse to clean this mess up because I didn't do anything. I told her I was pissed off and that I didn't think I should have to clean up after everytime we fought cause she becomes totally uncool and decides that she is 100% right. So you can't explain, you just have to apologize and make her feel better. And this time I don't feel right about doing that since I didn't do anything, it was just a misudnerstanding that occurs late at night when your grogy and such and i was drunk from the concert that we both overreacted and she be - as good friends - able to just say fuck it, sorry I said this sorry you reacted that way and such. But she is incapable of doing that, she believes that holding grudges is part of self-respect. It is one of the saddest things I've ever heard...Perfect Fiction Life. Run as fast as you can to the rythm of no where, and I swear you're just like a pill...

There is this problem with being crazy, you never know if you are crazy.