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The Birthday Post: Big 18

January 29, 2002

I had an awsome idea tonight. I am going to write 3 online children books about human atrocities. They will be called:
A is for Aids
B is for the Bubonic Plague
C is for Charlie.

I will keep you update on the progress of them. I am so damn lazy you all will have to wait for a new Kansas O'Rogers and Sweeter than the Rest. I am sorry, but thats how it has to happen.

Well that's it. There is no turning back now. I am 18. Before I begin the philosophical aspects of me turning 18, I am going to go use the bathroom (cause i just realized I had to go). Ok im back. Sorry about mentioning the bathroom thingy. Right before I get to discussing being 18, I want to let everyone know, You Can Still Buy Me Stuff I love presents and I love getting presents and I love not paying for presents. Just cause you missed a good chance to get me something, doesnt mean you cant get me something. Ill even invent holidays for you, I promise. I am taking the birthday banner off in a few days, it will be replaced by a new thrilling banner. (not an ad).

On Being 18:

I remember wondering when I first entered highschool, or really after a year of highschool, how I suddenly had grown up. I mean people started giving me the oppertunity to make all these important decisions and I guess that freaked me out. I enjoyed being a child. I once heard that "Childhood ends when you realize you are going to die." I think my childhood ended when I realized that living life is not always fun...responsibility, decisions...It is hard. And highschool was the best place to learn exactly how shitty my life could be. And that is all over now, I have made my decisions, I have committed myself to my life. I mean, I am ready to live my own life. I think that is what turning 18 means, I am ready. I cant say I was 3 years ago when people started making me choose what I wanted to do forever, but I think now I am ready.

"I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous menacing road of a new decade…Thirty- the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair…As we passed over the dark bridge her wan face fell lazily against my coat’s shoulder and the formidable stroke of thirty died away with the reassuring pressure of her hand.

So we drove on toward death, through the cooling twilight." - The Great Gatsby

Goodnight everyone. And remember, god dammit I have absolutely nothing philosphical to say. [I throw my "Idiot's Guide to Philosophy" on the ground in protest.]

10 comments
10 Comments
Ben 2002-01-29
Happy birthday. Everyone, Email me!
Avi 2002-01-29
you know, just cause im not thirty doesn't mean I can't quote the great gatsby. I always thought that was a cool epiphany to have on Nick's birthday. and since my birthday had no such epiphany, I thought I would use his, there's nothing wrong with that?
Jesse Mermelstein 2002-01-29
Avi, I think you misunderstood the previous comment. Whoever the hell "haha" is, he wasn't (or shouldn't have been) saying that because you're only eighteen you shouldn't be quoting a thirty-year old's epiphany; rather, he is merely saying that you're just not old enough to quote The Great Gatsby at all. Period. "You're 18 for god- sakes.....", i.e., you are still far too immature to actually go around quoting literature. I mean, there are laws about these sort of things. Not that haha is so great either: his/her use of the five period ellipse is neither esthetically pleasing nor grammatically accurate. Happy birthday, you pretentious little runt.
Avi 2002-01-29
Jesse, I found your comment to be reasonable and informative. However, I have concluded that you do not fully appreciate exactly how great I am. I will refer you to a story I wrote <a href=http://www.flombaum.com/viewstories.asp?sid=7> "My Greatness"</a> That I think will clue you in, so to speak, on how great I actually am. Given my greatness, I derive, that quoting the <u>Great</u> Gatsby is in my full reach. Thank you.
haha@aol.com 2002-01-29
You know, Jesse, i beg to differ. I was in fact trying to say that Avi must stop thinking of himself as being thirty years old, like Nick, because 18 is the birth of life, and by the time one hits the age of thirty, life is already going downhill. So, my comment was supposed to be a few words of optimism for the ever-so-glum theFlom. Although, Jesse, i do agree that Avi is immature. thats all haha
haha@aol.com 2002-01-29
avi, you're not thirty, stop quoting the great gatsby - you're 18 for god- sakes.....
Jesse Mermelstein 2002-01-30
Would cynically mock pizza, but too sick.
Demosthenes 2002-01-30
There comes a point in everyones ife when one realizes that besides food the most imprtant thing in life is tabloid newspapers
Avi 2002-01-30
Zev, what are you talking about? Are you comparing my site to the likeness of a tabloid newspaper?
Jesse Mermelstein 2002-01-30
God forbid. Rather, Mr. Rosen was comparing all the other sites out there to tabloid newspapers, as they, unlike this one, are actually important.